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David and Stefan
22 Mar 2009 3:10PM
“We finally ‘tied the knot’ about 2 years ago. I held his hand all day,
and it was one of the most amazing days of my life. Holding hands in
public with him had always been a priority and I’d got us into some
minor scrapes before, but nothing major. And I wouldn’t stop doing it
(even though he hated it) because nothing feels as great as that
freedom of being ourselves, enjoying our relationship out in the sun.
He started to get really self-conscious in 2007 after some youths
hurled insults at us just off Old Compton St. (We’d been holding hands,
coming off the Compton catwalk) He said that if we got abuse there,
then no where was really safe. Before our civil partnership, we were
discussing where we would take our honeymoon. He confessed to me that
he was worried we might get in trouble if we held hands in another
country (he knew how important it was for me to not hide our love).
I was pretty indignant. I said that I didn’t care where we were, that I
would hold hands on our honeymoon in public and that I wouldn’t pretend
otherwise. It was a bad argument and we were prickly for days. We
didn’t book anything, but the feeling stayed for both of us, him
exercising extreme caution, only mentioning the destinations where he
would feel safe to do that (San Fran, Berlin, Sydney) of course we’d
been all those places before. And so we didn’t book anything, and I
wouldn’t compromise, because I wanted to hold hands and he didn’t. In
the end we did book somewhere, we went to Paris because I guess (we
figured) if they hurled insults at us, we wouldn’t understand what they
said. He speaks Spanish and I was much better communicating in other
ways. We did hold hands, and nothing happened, except he was silent for
most of the time, checking the streets ahead, and over his shoulder,
and on some occasions, in romantic tourist spots I pulled away from
him, because I guess I felt he would feel more comfortable if we
weren’t obviously together. Strange, that now, the only way we feel
secure as a couple is when we are visibly apart.”
Stefan and David, Southampton, UK
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